You never really see my worth.

All you do is proving me wrong. I've been sinking down yet you did not know. I'm fighting and struggling with myself the whole time, I did not want to sound selfish to you but It really hurts. Do you think I'm going back to normal? How do you think we'll get back to normal when everything is not the same anymore? Prove me you're worth it. Because believe me I'm trying to convince myself that you are, but you end up hurting me all over again. People told me to stay away, find a new one but I fucking love you, my mind was all about you, I don't see any future without you. I slowly start on trusting, I ignored every single thing, the past and the future. I tried to forget it all, but as I was starting to forget. I was bleeding, every single detail of pain keeps on coming back. Little did I know I forgot to forget the fact that you cheated and what I forgot was the memories we had. The love that we had. Never did I know, As I start forgetting everything you have done, was the start of me moving on. So I started to stop, but It turned bad, you got mad, then we fought. Baby I got no choice because all these battles we had are what keeps me satisfied. I need to feel something from you, and all that lefts me was the pain. The pain that keeps me here, I'm trying to recover our love from pain. You said we'll start from the very beginning, but where were you? I needed you. I don't see any beginning from what we've been doing. And now I feel as if I don't need you anymore, I had receive so many pains. Pain is the only reason why I need love. I thought I need love from you, turns out wrong. My love for you was so deep, so deep yet so ignorant and I don't want to go back to the way I was before. And now, my feelings for you are not that strong enough to break me into pieces so now I'm leaving you. I need myself. And if you come runnin' back tell me. Tell me and give me reason why I need to stay, because I don't see any anymore.


My mind tells me I should be leaving `cause it's been alot of pain, and If I chose to stay. It's like tearing me into pieces. But my heart tells me to still hold on, though I'm the only person who's holding on to this relationship.. Some fucked up shit. :|