First walk again.

I can't do it.
Why can't I just grow up, I know I need help.
When will I ever stand on my own, I hate this place.
Why are people so cruel? This world is getting very depressing as life goes by.
Well it is true. All good things always have to come to and end.

I can't take much more responsibilities yet. I can't even go outside maybe go shopping alone. Back in the day I can, but after what happened, not anymore.
I'm scared on what's gonna happen next. Lide is just so impossible! I want to deal with people but not today nor tomorrow. I can't take how people criticize others. It's just too much! Why do people bring other people down when they're already on the ground. Yes, indeed. It is very sad.

And maybe those who see this blog [if there are?] will think I post too much crap. I post too much sad moments.
But this year has been very sad too me.

I have changed but sometimes it doesn't show. I don't really know why. I can fake my happiness and people still not might see it 'cause I'm the happy one, But I have the most akward eyes you'll see. You can pretty much see that sadness when you look at it.

I'm not here too whine about my problems, I just want to get this things out even it's 12 AM and I haven't been sleeping for 2 days already. And even though nobody's really listening.

>_____________<

My dear friend.

I know you feel the pressure.
Why do you want yourself to look so bad, Why do you keep on rebelling.
Is this what you want to remember after years?
Do you want us to see the difference after you turned out to be that person
you've been thinking you'll be after this.
Slow it down, You crazy child & be a kid for awhile. I was going to help you sort this out, but I guess things need to come to an end just like us.
After those things you have said to them about me; but I guess you wanted attention, so fabricated the situation, Your a very sad boy. You really wanted people to hate you so much, But you know what? I understand you.

Stop the misery and stop trying so hard to establish yourself as your own person, and yet your not even quite sure who you really are.
Your try so hard to see yourself as a man already but the lack of your patience and immaturity will lead you knower.


But why am I saying this? I'm sorry for offending you (If ever you do read this, which is not going to happen)
& I'm sorry for judging the life that you are in right now, But I can't help it.
Somehow I was a part of it, for a moment.
You think to yourself that I'm just another crazy girl trying to get in your life because you've heard this things before, But did ever condidered doing it? Did you ever considered changing? Maybe. But did you do it for your own good, or for someone you really love.


But i know

YOUR A GOOD PERSON, YOUR JUST AFRAID TO SHOW IT.
I'll pray for you, You are loved.
Always remember that.

Everything happens for a reason, Maybe God has something good set for you.
You just need to wait.

GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND.

Growin up.

Today is 3:38 AM, Insomnia attack. I was watching We are one by The lion king 2 and then I moved to Prince of Egypt [AH. Never get tired of the movie] I just want to share that movie made me cry when I was young, & It made me feel the presence of The Lord, & The need to change myself for the better but It's really hard. When you deal with people who are so detached with the bad side. I was a kid, what do I know.
One thing I should have remember was to

Resist the devil, and he shall flee from you.



Lost

Little girl
Stop for a while.
Your so ahead than the speed of time.
You keep on movin' faster than the speed of light.
You think your doing it right,
But you don't even know yourself deep inside.

I know your lost in this time,
Your trying to live your life.
But your taking it in the wrong directions,
Come back from where you really started
and Leave the darkness behind.

Keep your patience up, Live you own dream
and not others.
Stop dreaming too much,
When you don't even try.
Can't you see,
You can't have everything at the same time.

Just remember
That God is just beside you.
You left him but never did he left you.

GOOD TIMES

I learned a new lesson.

Today is a wonderful stressing day.

All this time I was trying to hard to cope & find myself, I felt like I was lost in this dream in an infinite cold place.

But now I finaly woke up, & felt so blessed, not cursed with this life I have. Although it’s not as good as it is back when, but i realized that’s just how life goes. People do come and go, People change.

I know I can face the next day. and the next and the next because God is with me the whole time along, with all the struggles.

Just a little story I have to share. I feel like growing up & stressed. I still haven’t sleep yet just so you know.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never
come to an end; they are new every morning. - Lamentations 3:22-23

God bless and have a wonderful day! x

The innocence or The ignorance?

Damn.
I remember those days, How innocent I was that I was so ignorant, If you know what I mean. Only a few months later, You’ll look back and think. “Oh for god sake! Was I really that dumb not to realize & say that?! Was i really that ignorant?” But yeah, I was & I did. Sometimes I really want to change it but I can’t.

I miss the innocence and ignorance that i had.

I still have the innocence in me, but my eyes have seen too much ugly.